Fatherhood6570, Fatherhood and Hip Hop

The meteoric rise of Hip Hop over the past thirty years is directly correlated to the absence of fathers in the African American community. This is not a criticism of Hip Hop but a perspective of why much of the music is so angry, misogynistic, consumer driven and violent. These males suffering a massive love deficit try to fill the void with lyrics that amplify how they feel and view the world. African American males have less fathers in the home today then they did in slavery.* The fatherhood deficit that is pandemic in African American homes and is even approaching high levels in White households leaving a painful void that desperately needs to be filled by these males. Hip Hop offers them a community of escape denial and hope. While the traditional paths of underprivileged males allowed sports to be the source for escape, venting and communal need, Hip Hop’s generous filter allows more young males into the sport of Hip Hop as it does not require athletic gifts, rigorous practice and adult authority in the realm of male coaches.

I want to briefly examine four of Hip Hops leading lights of Rap music to show the pain that the absence of fatherhood causes forever and how that pain is therapeutically released through the music. Here we look at the music of Foxy Brown, Biggie, Tupac and Jay Z who have all contributed songs that are directed at their absentee fathers. Beyond the incredibly potent lyrics after reading this article we immediately see why Hip Hop is such a powerful force in the abscence of fathers in our homes.

Foxy Brown’s, My Life
Uh, confused, I ain't asked to be born
Nigga so dumb, shoulda used a condom
Ask mommy every day, when daddy gon' come?
But he never showed up

Lack of love had me fallin' for thugs
The niggas who ain't care, just like Daddy
If he ain't care, why should they?
For this 'high price' life, it's the price I pay

Tupac, Papa’s Song
Had to play catch by myself, what a sorry sight
A pitiful plight, so I pray for a starry night
Please send me a pops before puberty
the things I wouldn't do to see a piece of family unity
Moms always work, I barely see her
I'm startin to get worried without a pops I'll grow to be her
It's a wonder they don't understand kids today
so when I pray, I pray I'll never grow to be that way

Moms had to entertain many men
Didn't wanna do it but it's time to pay the rent again
I'm gettin a bit older and I'm startin to be a bother
Moms can't stand me cause I'm lookin like my father
Should I stay or run away, tell me the answer
Moms ignores me and avoids me like cancer

Biggie Smalls, Suicidal thoughts
When I die, fuck it I wanna go to hell
Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
It don't make sense, goin' to heaven wit the goodie-goodies
Dressed in white, I like black Tims and black hoodies

All my life I been considered as the worst
Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wished she got a fuckin' abortion
She don't even love me like she did when I was younger
Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies

Jay Z, Where have you been
I wanted to walk just like him (remember?)
wanted to talk just like him (word)
often momma said I look too much
and I thought just like him (it could happen)
wanted to drink Miller nips
and smoke Newports just like you
but you left me, now I'm goin to court just like you
I would say "my daddy loves me and he'll never go away"
bullshit, do you even remember December's my birthday?
do you even remember the tender boy
you turned into a cold young man
with one goal and one plan
get mommy out of some jam, she was always in one
always short with the income
always late with the rent
You said that you was comin through
I would stay in the hallway (waitin)
always playin the bench (waitin)
and that day came and went
Fuck You! very much you showed me the worst kind of pain
but I'm stronger and trust me I will never hurt again
will never ask mommy "why daddy don't love me?
Why is we so poor?, why is life so ugly?
Mommy why is your eyes puffy?"
please don't cry everything'll be alright
I know it's dark now, but we gon' see the light
It's us against the world
we don't need him, right? (right)

Ray Davis’s summary: These lyrics are a veritable national anthem of artist's from fatherless homes echoing the pain, alienation and self-hatred of abandonment by their fathers. I leave you here to reflect on these lyrics by multi-million dollar celebrities that in spite of their status suffer the greatest deficit America faces today, the love deficit between father and child. As the lyrics testify the damage is permanent and it lives in their children for the rest of their lives. If you as a father have abandoned, neglected or not acknowledged your child you can be sure that they feel what these artist have spoken. Fathers, it is never too late to acknowledge your child and in saving your child you ultimately save yourself.

*During the days of slavery a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents than he or she is today.
Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage, rev. and enl. ed., (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1992), 110 . See also Herbert G. Gutman, The Black Family in Slavery and Freedom, 1750-1925 (New York: Pantheon, 1976). For a review of this and similar studies see Stanley L. Engerman, "Black Fertility and Family Structure in the U.S. 1880-1940," Journal of Family History 2 (Summer 1977): 177ff. Cited in The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher page 117

The writer Ray Davis Founder of Fatherhood 6570 can be reached at this blog or at Raydavisgroup@aoil.com